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"Reality is nothing but a collective hunch." – Lily Tomlin
"One time a guy pulled a knife on me. I could tell it wasn’t a professional job – it had butter on it." – Rodney Dangerfield
"The future’s so bright, I’m forced to squint." – Laura Kightlinger
"If the shoe fits, get another one just like it." – George Carlin
"Computers make it easy to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do, don’t need to be done." – Andy Rooney
"Having me for a dad is kind of like having Curly from the Three Stoogies as your father." – Bobcat Goldthwait
"My mother always said don’t marry for money, divorce for money." – Wendy Liebman
"If your family tree does not fork, you might be a redneck." – Jeff Foxworthy
"Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying." – Fran Lebowitz
"I do what it says on the Aspirin bottle. Take two and keep away from children." – Roseanne
"I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them." – Rita Rudner
"I figure if the children are alive when my husband comes home, I’ve done my job." – Roseanne
"Never allow your child to call you by your first name. He hasn’t known you long enough." – Fran Lebowitz
"We men are driven to find Miss Right – or at least Miss Right Now." – Robin Williams
‘Younger guys have been approaching me lately, and asking me to buy their alcohol." – Wendy Liebman
"I don’t care about money. I want a sensitive man. I want a man who will cry when I hit him." – Wendy Liebman
"Never let a fool kiss you – or a kiss fool you." – Joey Adams
"When I’m not in a relationship, I shave one leg so when I sleep, it feels like I’m with a woman." – Garry Shandling
"A man who was loved by 300 women singled me out to live with him. Why? I was the only one without a cat." – Elayne Boosler
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Coming Soon!
ebook of Don Aly's Celebrity Quotes
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For more information:
Don Aly Enterprises
7048 Freemont
Dallas, TX 75231 US
Email: donnyfun@donnyfun.com
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